Draw three circles ; inside the first one put sex, the next one put relationship and the third one put love. Conscious sex is understanding the difference between them and learning how to use them authentically.
This means you understand that sex is a physical part of us and from this portal we can access many layers of elements. Sex is a very powerful energy and should only be practiced conciously.
What is the difference between these three energies?
Sex- This is a physical need, a physical expression and a portal to access higher dimensions of your evolution in the realm of manifestation and creativity
Relationship- This is a verbal or contractual agreement between two people set up with terms and expectations based on the custom design to that relationship.
Love- This is an emotional state that heightens our evolution and spirit. Our true essence is love. When we “love” someone its just a target to beam that energy towards so it can come back to us. Thats why it feels so good to be in love.
Its important to understand from this perspective so you don’t get confused or emotional. Sex, relationship and love can be combined together and often are but its important to understand the difference between them and what each one is there for. If we choose to go into a contract or agreement with a person and have a relationship for whatever reasons maybe you want to create a family, or maybe you “fell in love” and the next step is marriage or maybe its your culture or your dream to have a wedding or maybe your afraid to be alone or you spent so much time with the partner that now you decided to make it official. Just understand that when you go into an agreement, the energy changes which means the sex and love become something different than it was before.
You can think of each one as a color. We can give the color of sex yellow, the color of relationship green and the color of love red. So alone they are a solid color but when mixed with each other, the color changes. This is called being conscious and aware of the different energies you are creating.
How do we behave in the different situations related to sex?
scenario one– ( we meet someone and want to have sex, but don’t necessarily want to have a relationship)Its important to lay your cards on the table and communicate very clearly what you are looking for and also listen to your partner when they give you their honest answer. If you can tell that the person is not being honest about what he expects and he is expecting something more from you than its probably not going to end well but if you are both wanting the same thing, you talk about it and agree than its perfectly ok to share this experience respectfully. Just remember that a women brain is designed that when she has orgasms it sends a signal to her heart to tell her she is in love. This was a 10 year study done in national geographic about women and orgasms. The stronger and more frequent the orgasms the more your brain sends signals to the heart. Sometimes when we have such an amazing orgasm or sex it actually feels like to us that we are in love when in fact we are not in love it was just great sex. Mens brains are wired differently, their brains are wired to procreate and spread their seed as part of historical survival. So men do not get signals to the brain telling them they are in love. Ofcourse Im speaking very general but their are definitely many elements that effect the energies here. Some men are more feminine than others and some men are raised by only women so they may have less of these strong traits but in general mens brain is wired to procreate with women who can make babies.
scenario two– (we are dating and want to have sex but don’t want to get hurt or feel used) The only way you are going to get hurt is if you go onto an experience with false expectations. If you were not clear with the person about what you want or he was not clear with you about what he wanted. Its important always to clarify what we are looking for before going forward because this is called unconscious sex and it will definitely end in emotional frustration. Part of our grounding is knowing who we are, knowing what we want. This is something you need to figure out before you go out there in the world and exchange powerful energies with people you don’t know. This scenario means you have not decided if you want a relationship or not. Either you want a partner or you don’t and its up to you to decide and be clear with the people you interact with or many people could en dup feeling hurt and used including yourself. If your like most women and assume most men are not looking for a relationship so you say I’m ok with just having sex but deep down inside your really not ok with it so you try to turn every casual sex experience into a relationship than your definitely going to end of getting hurt. Its important to be clear with yourself first and foremost.
scenario three– (we want to have a deep loving relationship with this person we want to have sex with) Clarity is the name of the game. If after you both understand and communicate that you are wanting the same things than you can allow yourself to mix the colors of love and sex.
If your ready for a relationship than that means in order to create that you cannot be in the energy of dating and having casual sex. First if you want to attract a relationship energy, you will need to stop all behaviors that are in the single energy or you will not match vibrationally with this energy for a relationship.
To go deep into love you need to let go of fear and you need to become vulnerable. You also need to have time for this relationship and a solid foundation to create from. Part of the amazing growth that happens at this development is our skin becomes un layered and we are forced to see our truth which is revealed through the mirror reflection you see in this other person. Relationships can teach you a lot about yourself they can also be very challenging. Make sure if you decide to have a relationship that its for healthy reasons.
scenario four– we are married and want to enjoy our husband sexually. The number one reason why good sex gets blocked in a marriage is because neither one feels comfortable to be their authentic self. Judgement from your partner, feeling controlled, or having too many expectations can leave you feeling turned off. We create sexual chemistry the same as we did in the beginning of our relationship when we first met and we allowed each other to be ourselves. Stop nagging and trying to control your husband and let him be and he will come close to you. Control them and nag them and they might obey (depending on their religious influence and belief) however they will become suppressed and resentful and after some years could become ill, age quicker, and ,most of the time wonder off to an affair. You want to give your husband a space where he feels safe to be himself. The way you do this is when he does open up to you about things hes been doing you cannot react with judgement or dissapproval . Men are like children and women are like mothers, we need to share our perspectives with them gently and non judgemental. The more I have practiced this with men the more i have come to understand that they are definitely different creatures than women and will have many many strange things they do and like, this is the fact. So you can either choose to accept this or you can choose to be delusional and think your husband is just like a woman and should behave in a certain way and he will continue keeping secrets from you because he doesn’t feel comfortable to open up.